The Bright Side Part 1

My favorite view of Sheep Rock and our place

Ok, so now you know some of my inner thoughts from my previous post that I dare not whisper to anyone... It feels super bizarre that I have exposed myself to so many. Uncomfortable to say the least. But I'm glad I have. Growth isn't achieved in the comfort zones anyway. In spite of how I feel deep down, I try my best to look on the bright side of every situation. Try. I smile a lot and try new solutions to problems until something works. Because honestly, life isn't so bad...

We have each other... our health, our own piece of land to do any thing we want with, super strong spunky girls that make me laugh, and I have my husband, who has some how managed to become our power, gas, water, trash and sewage company. A large task for any one company let alone one family. But of course hard days are those that surface from a lack of any of the above. Mostly water. Water, water, water.  (I must make the point to say that my husband noticed we were out of propane early this morning and went and filled them before I was even awake. Thanks Love.) We have many solutions on water but last night we ran out. We are usually on it but since the pregnancy it has not been like clock work especially on things that I usually keep tabs on. We are going in so many directions now in preparation of these babies that the "usual" stuff is getting lost in the mix since there's just the two of us out here to run our "city."

We a had a Dr's apt today and no one to watch the girls...again. So I spent an hour and a half cleaning each child head to toe with a wet rag using drinking water. Patience, I tell myself, it's just the way it is for now, not forever...look on the bright side... The bright side? ...um. Well, I guess I get to spend that much more time with my kiddos. They are little cuties after all and one day they won't need me for much. That's cool, plus we are heroes when it comes to water conservation. That's what I tried to tell myself. But really I just wanted to be done and headed to our apt. Or have someone come over and watch them. Time went by as it does and we were all clean and ended up arriving to our apt 10 minutes early! Which is a novelty for us. Our kiddos were pretty good during the appointment. There were plenty of books for them to look at including one of my favorites, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." Their favorite part is hearing the twins hearts beat. While I really would rather not have gone through the effort to bring all three girls, (3, 5 and 7), I do love including them as much as possible. I especially love when they make their own sounds of the heart beats after hearing them off the doppler!

The good news for the day is that the twins and I are doing perfect. Their growth and development is exactly where it should be. I am doing great and perfectly healthy too. I'm really glad that no matter how I feel my body is workin it and doing a wonderful job. I feel them kicking so much now. The past 2 days they have been sooooo active! It's really cool feeling two separate babies moving around. I imagine they are fighting for space!

Every day my girls ask how the boys are doing. I get kisses and raspberries on my tummy. Seattle, my 5 year old, likes to tickle "them" and every night they give my belly a hug to say "goodnight" and "I love you" to their brothers. No matter what the hard, there is always good to be found. There's always a bright side even when we are out of water. Time to refill!

The Way it is for Now, But Not Forever

Well here goes nothing...

First, I want to say I am a very private person. If I'm having a bad day you wouldn't guess it. I really don't like talking about myself and don't as much as possible. So this is a huge stretch for me...and important. After living in this area for 6 years I have had a professional relationship with the community as the local school's music teacher...and lets face it, when was the last time you invited your child's teacher to a friendly gathering. I can count 1 in 6 years. We of course are getting our homestead put together so inviting anyone over is restricted to a very select few. Mostly, "No, you can't come over," which I hate. But that's just the way it is for now, not forever. I have to tell myself this constantly. 

That being said, there are fewer people I call friends here then I have fingers on one hand. We don't have any family within 800 miles to boot either. So we are very much on our own.  

So if I'm being honest I want to share my off grid mom life partially for selfish reasons; having "someone to talk to" and hopefully to shed some light on the realities of both motherhood and off grid living as it relates to motherhood...or at least as I have experienced it. You are invited to partake as I document my growth, off grid mom life and and our progress on along the way. 

I imagine weather you live off grid, aspire to someday, or have a wonderful well established life in some city, you will be able to relate on some level...or at least enjoy following a life that is far from normal in every sense of the word. If you have ever felt so far removed from those around you that you can hardly have a conversation, or are in a state of change, a mom, a grandmother or just looking for something new to read, I hope you enjoy and can connect with me on some level and I with you.

So who am I? In short, I am a wife of 10 years, mother of three daughters ages 7, 5 and 3 and if that wasn't enough, we are expecting identical twin boys in October! I am currently about 6 months along. I have been living off gird with my daughters and husband for 6 years now.  We started homeschooling this past March and will do so this up coming school year unless I lose my mind after having these boys. 

What's my off grid mom life like? I'd love to say it's the most blissful thing ever; gardens gushing with fruit and vegetables, chickens for eggs and meat, horses to ride, perfect landscape that I stare at while sitting on the front porch, while my picture perfect children play happily, husband at my beck and call, ending each day with a warm bath in a beautiful log cabin or something. ...Well let me just say, if this is your life then you need not hear mine...that is a wonderful dream and the farthest thing from my life possible. 

What is my life really like? Hard. Tiring. Currently very hot. Often lacking adventure. You know typical mom life at times...but without A/C.  "I hate it," I think more often then I care to admit. I'm often lonely, and sick of waiting for life's comforts. That being said I do really like my very spacious, quite homestead even with my loud, rambunctious children. The beautiful mountain views and rolling hills in the distance are just perfect. While I don't have any of the above mentioned luxuries, it's just the way it is for now, not forever. That is the hardest part of this living. Having patience. LOTS and LOTS of patience. Especially when there is only one person for the most part doing the homesteading work while the other (me) is doing the kid stuff. 

So why am I doing this? Well, this life style is unknown and inconceivable by many and could not be more underestimated. We moved from Los Angeles and Las Vegas to rural Northern California because we were sick of the hum drum life of work, make money, pay bills, be broke, repeat and still have nothing to show for it. Every time I have a rough day, or I'm sick of seeing dirt all over the floor 5 minutes after I swept, or looking at the project that was started 6 months ago that is still on hold because of "more important things," or the unfinished kitchen without water running through the faucet, I think of having a nice normal house. But immediately following are thoughts like, "the neighbors would be way too close," (we can't see a neighbor from our house), "we wouldn't have any space for the kids to play" (we have 3 acres), my husband and I wouldn't see our kids enough since we would both need to have 9 to 5s for the bills.  ....I am quickly reminded that we are very lucky and maybe too smug when it comes to the "normal" way of life. But I am a firm believer in doing what makes you happy. I mean if you're happy then you'll do everything better then if you're hating life?  This feels more like a theory since I'm not always very happy to live this way, but I do look forward to one day building our forever home with the kids. I love the idea that we need to be on the same team. When my girls play outside they know they need to watch out for each other. Not from strangers, but from falling out of a tree. While Seattle was getting the hang of climbing trees (haha) Brooklynn would help her by telling her where to get her footing or where to grab. They have to stick together incase there is a rattlesnake. They know what they look like and sound like and the dangers they bring. It is unreal for many, but I think it's a great way to understand life and be a contributor to family early on. 

It is a hard life that requires a lot of patience, and certainty one that is the way it is for now, but not forever. Over all having space to see my girls run top speed for minutes, and climb ropes and trees and hear the birds without traffic noises makes it worth the hard. 

All these things just barely scratch the surface but it is a start. 

I am a realistic optimist. I hope for the best but certainly don't count on it. I'll be talking more about our daily life and my thoughts on having twins and how I'm doing and all that in my up coming posts. Hope you liked getting to know me a little better. I can use all the support I can get.